Snobs vs. Slobs

Well, it had to happen. To think that the Bulls, without Easy E and Luol Deng, would sweep the Wizards was a pretty foolish idea. As I’ve mentioned, I think the Wizards are the better team right this red-hot second (due to injuries).

—The Wizards really are a team of matadors. Everyone here (more on the locals later) will talk up Brendan Haywood as a decent defender, but when you’re trying to contain Othella Harrington (and he still drops 12 on you), you’re not exactly Bill Russell. To say the Bulls’ front line is offensively challenged is an understatement.—You know you’re in bad shape when Tyson Chandler is your leading scorer. Stretch has no offensive moves, which is bizarre. I know people get on Eddy for being the no. 4 pick in the 2001 draft, but Stretch was picked no. 2! I mean, come on. Luckily, both of them are better than Kwame Brown.—As it turned out, the Wizards did not sell out the MCI Center for the game. The team came close (and probably claimed a sellout), but the attendance figure from the box score reads that it wasn’t a sellout. Does that suprise me? Of course not. It rained all day here and D.C. just isn’t a great sports town, due to the nature of its transient population. At my job, there are 7 people who work on my desk. Only two are from the Washington area, while everyone else is from a different region, from California to Kentucky to Chicago. And I don’t even work in politics.—Nearly everyone looked bad today for the Bulls, which is good. If you lose by 20, you want your guys to look bad. The Executioner barely played (and couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with his jumper), the Magic Elf had trouble with Larry Hughes and Jannero Pargo returned to being Janerro Pargo. Hell, Skiles even put Lawrence Funkerburke’s corspe in there at one point.—It was good to see Marv, his toupee and Steve Kerr back announcing the game. After listening to the pre-game on our local sports station, I am having trouble handling the anti-Bulls rants from the locals. I understand these Bulls aren’t the same as the greatest team to ever lace ‘em up, but that doesn’t mean this team can’t beat the Wizards.— Speaking of the local pre-game show, Bram Weinstein had a few of the Wizznutzz on his show this morning. Needless to say, it was bizarre. The Wizznutzz, if I’m correct, are similar to the guys at Blackhawk games beating the drums, only I’m not sure what the Wizznutzz do, exactly. I do know Dave Eggers recruited them to write a piece for McSweeney’s Web site, which is actually pretty funny.—Another thing the local radio people have been talking about is Skiles and his reputation as a gritty player. On his radio show, local b-list celebrity Tony Kornheiser relayed a pretty good story about Skiles’ in college. I’ll retell it best I can. During a Michigan State/Michigan game in ‘85, Skiles was lighting up Antione Joubert for upwards of 35-40 points. At one point, Michigan’s coach took out Joubert. Still in the game, when the action took Skiles in front of the Michigan bench, Skiles looks at Joubert and says “What’s a matter, fat boy, was I too much for you?” Apparently, Skiles was a trash talker. Good times.—One of the things I’m woefully tired of is those stupid ads with NBA players falling in love with the Larry O’Brien trophy. While not as gross as McDonald’s awful ‘I’d hit it’ ads, the ads with Tony Park or Jermaine O’Neil sweet-talking a trophy, well, ewww. And they show those things a million times in each game. I don’t want to think about that. Ick.—Race is something most people don’t want to talk about, but I’m currently watching the Spurs/Nuggets game and Greg Popovich definitely has a four-white guy team out there right now. Granted, three of those guys are Euros (Rasho Nesterovich, Manu Ginobili and Beno Udrih), but still, that’s pretty crazy. The Bulls have utilized the four-white guy approach with a Jareid Reiner/Eric Piatkowski/Kirk Hinrich/Andres Nocioni/Ben Gordon lineup. Yeah, it went just as well as you think it would’ve.—Etan Thomas lit up the Bulls for some reason. Built like a member of the tennis-playing buffalo herd forty miles up the road, Thomas should be pretty easy to guard. He’s not exactly mobile. But, like the Buffalo, one he got started momemtum seemed to carry him over the Bulls depleted front line. If Skiles reads this blog, please, Scott, just sick Nocioni on him. I’m sure Nocioni can mess him up somehow.—During the first quarter, the Magic Elf finger-rolled one of his first shots. Marv, in a fit of unprecedented weirdness, then compared Hinrich’s move to George “Iceman” Gervin’s famous finger roll. Luckily, Marv (or his toupee) didn’t keep with that train of thought, because the Magic Elf and the Iceman couldn’t be more dissimilar.—On his blog, Pip thinks the Bulls are in good shape. Basically, he says the same things we all have been saying: the Wiz play no defense, the Bulls are scoring out of their minds, etc. Not groundbreaking, but good to read. If you haven’t read Pip’s blog recently, you should check it out. While not as entertaining as Paul Shirley’s, Pip has some pretty good Bulls homer analysis for his inaugural “Pip Awards,” what he calls his picks for postseason awards. He’s got a Bull for Rookie of the Year (Executioner, tied with Okafor), Coach of the Year, Executive of the Year and Sixth Man (Gordon, again). Of course, you can’t really argue with any of those picks, but I’m pretty sure only Pax will win. Skiles will be overshadowed, I think, by Furious George Karl in Denver, Gordon by Okafor for ROY and Stackhouse for Sixth Man. Doesn’t mean those guys aren’t deserving, but I just don’t think the writers are that in love with the Bulls.—It’s nice to see the series actually get some life, as I was worried (and hopeful, at the same time) that the Bulls would sweep. If the Wizards can learn to play some defense, I still think Bulls are in some trouble. But, if the Wizards keep playing like, well, the Wizards, the Bulls should be in good shape.

For a third time, Go Bulls!

(Photo credit: ESPN.com)

Nate Silver of BP.com did a chat earlier today that is choice.

Some nuggets:

“We only update the PECOTAs once a year, after all the games have been completed. However, if we regenerated them now, and included [Neifi] Perez’ 60 good at bats or so in the equation, it would be a raindrop in an ocean’s worth of hitless wonderment.”

“I know that [Frank] Thomas is regarded as an immovable object in all sorts of ways, but if Ozzie does anything other than play him six times a week once he’s available to play, it wouldn’t surprise me if some enterprising GM found a way to pick him up for the stretch drive with the White Sox eating most of the contract. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if he comes off the DL, hits .220 in sporadic playing time, and the White Sox simply release him.”

Silver’s not an insider, but he is responsible for PECOTA, one of the best tools around. He’s an incredibly smart guy. If you have a minute, check out the chat.

For the first time since April 19, the Cubs won a game without one of their players leaving early with an injury. Of course, they had to overcome a 5 run deficit to do it, but hey, a win is a win. The Cubs won the game mostly due to Derrek Lee’s 4-for-4, 2 homer, 6 RBI day. Lee is hitting an almost frightening .430/.500/.797 in the month of April. Not only that, but there’s this:

That’s right, Cubs fans, Derrek Lee is currently leading the NL in all three Triple Crown categories. Not Pujols, not Helton, not Rolen, not Bonds – Derrek Leon Lee. Oh, and if that’s not enough for you stat-heads, Lee is also leading the NL in slugging percentage and OPS (and is second in OBP, behind Chipper Jones).

After dropping (literally) a game on Tuesday night, the White Sox suddenly remembered that they never win in Oakland, and subsequently lost last night as well. This is the first series loss of the year for the White Sox. If you still needed evidence that The Ozzeroo is an awful manager, how about this decision:
a) starting flat-footed Joe Crede at shortstop for “the third time since little league” (no, it gets better)
b) then, after Crede got ejected later in the game, bringing Jermaine Dye in from right field to play shortstop… for the first time since high school… in a TIE GAME… IN THE 9TH INNING..
Let’s see, was there anyone on the Sox bench who would have filled that role better? – Juan Uribe, who did not start the game, but has started every other game this year at shortstop – Tadahito Iguchi, who played 366 games at shortstop in the Japanese leagues and had a .976 fielding percentage – Pablo Ozuna, who has played 11 innings at shortstop this year and 15 innings at short with Colorado last year – Willie Harris, who has played two innings at shortstop this year (which is two more innings of shortstop at the major league level than Jermaine Dye has ever played)

Way to know your personnel, Ozzie! If the lack of walks don’t eventually catch up to the White Sox, then surely Ozzie’s wacky management style will. Paul Konerko at catcher? Why not?!?

With their injuries to the infield, the Cubs are apparently interested in Placido Polanco (ESPN Insider required for this link). Polanco is a pretty decent hitter (.295/.339/.410 for his career). He is a good second and third-baseman. But the Cubs need a shortstop. Polanco has played 121 games (523 innings) at SS, but he hasn’t played SS since 2002. Although Polanco has a good career fielding percentage at short (.982 compared to a league average of .968), he has lousy range (3.57 range factor compared to league average of 3.90).

More injury news from outside Chicago: Jason Isringhausen landed on the 15-day DL with a strained abdominal muscle. Cubs fans lament that the Cards will not play the Cubs again until July. Also in the Cardinals organization, Rick Ankiel will return to Double-A after being sidelined with a back injury since spring training. I can’t believe that Ankiel is in Double-A. Call me crazy, but when you have a 25 year-old who used to pitch, but is now trying to hit, and has no batting sample size to speak of, you start him in rookie ball or Low A, not in the league with the minors’ toughest pitchers.

The Cubs aren’t looking so stupid for not signing Armando Benitez anymore. Benitez tore three tendons in his hamstring last night, and could miss the rest of the season. He will be out for at least four months.

The Red Sox have put Curt Schilling on the 15-day DL with an ankle injury, but he will probably be out for three or four weeks. The Red Sox have lost David Wells and Curt Schilling in the last week. Schilling must have been put on some fun painkillers, because on Tuesday, Schilling called WEEI sports radio in Boston to discuss why the Devil Rays and Red Sox were at each others’ throats over the weekend. Schilling laid blame squarely on Rays manager Lou Piniella. Schilling claimed that Piniella’s own players called him an “idiot” behind his back. Piniella said he called a team meeting before Wednesday night’s game against Toronto, and that all of his players denied calling him an idiot.

And he believed it? Maybe Piniella really is an idiot. And didn’t it used to be a good thing to be an idiot in Boston?

Ex-Cub Mark Grudzielanek hit for the cycle yesterday. He is off to a .313/.362/.453 start for St. Louis. It’s the second time this season that someone has hit for the cycle in MLB (Brad Wilkerson, Nationals). If any of you out there are regretting the Cubs not re-signing Mark Grudzielanek, just take solace in the facts that Todd Walker (.381/.435/.476 so far in 2005) will be back soon, and that Jerry Hairston Jr.’s OBP is currently .383. I said take solace in those facts, dammit!

Once again, the Bulls pulled one out, seemingly on the strength of good defense, Kirk “The Magic Elf” Hinrich and good coaching. The Executioner had a decent game as well, although nothing like Sunday’s game. It seems like the Wizards tried to keep Gordon out of the game, which opened up opportunities for the Elf. That said, let’s get to my notes:
—Really up and down game. Each team, at one point, had a 13-point lead. Very weird. Luckily, the Bulls pulled away when the Wizards looked like they couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.—One of the things I mentioned in the first playoff post was my happiness with Marv on TNT. Unfortunately, tonight’s game is only being shown nationally on NBATV, so no Marv, no Steve Kerr and no Flip Saunders. All I get is Steve Buckhantz and Phil Chenier, the Wizards’ broadcasters. It’s very weird watching a playoff game from the other team’s perspective. Not only does Buckhantz go homer all the way, it gets downright irritating when you hear stuff like “Chicago is known to flop they did it a lot in Game One. Nocioni has perfected the flop.” Thanks, Buck. Thanks.—I flipped over to the TNT broadcast, and whoop, they switch to the Bulls game via an NBATV feed (The Spurs, at the time, were kicking the crap out of Denver). Spero Dedes and Mad Dog Carter are doing the game. What a dropoff. The best basketball broadcaster (maybe) ever and a very good color guy for game one and then some guy named Spero and Mad Dog. Mad Dog still needs valium.—It’s pretty weird to think about the choice of broadcasters, because, clearly, TNT is deploying the best for the Bulls series. The NBA really wants the Bulls, Celtics or Philly to do well, as those are the three biggest media markets left in the playoffs. Without L.A. or New York, I doubt Stern is happy. Sure, Phoenix is exciting and people love Shaq, but you can’t argue with demographics.—At the end of the first quarter, it seemed like Scott Skiles just plain gave up. He put out a lineup of Jannero Pargo, Othella Harrington, Tyson “Stretch” Chandler, the Polish Rifle (Eric Piatkowski) and Adrian Griffin. My notes from the game read as follows:
Pargo/Stretch/Rifle/Othella/44? Who the hell is 44?—One of the things Steve Buckhantz kept repeating was that there are still tickets available to the game. So, being the good consumer that I am, I checked out Ticketmaster.com and, yep, there they are. If I wanted to, I could go to a Bulls playoff game for a mere $51 (after that damned $7 service fee). Tempting, but I’d really rather watch it on TV.—Coming back from a couple of the breaks, the fabulous Luvabulls dancers (aka “28 reasons why Chicago pales in comparison to Miami and L.A.) were wearing what appeared to be track suits; the kind I’ve been known wear around my apartment. It was very weird, as I’m used to watching the Wizards dancers and their skimpy outfits. As a straight, single, lonely man I look forward to the cheerleaders and their cheerleading outfits. On second thought, maybe not.—One of the great things about the Luvabulls section of Bulls.com is the interactive photo of them. On clicking you get each Luvabull’s answers to a questionnaire that includes very hard-hitting questions, including these gems:

If I could vacation anywhere, I’d….
The person/people I most admire are….
My proudest accomplishment to date is….
What is the best advice you could give kids?
What is the best gift you have ever received?
Name two people you would like to have dinner with:

Really groundbreaking stuff, I’m sure.—I used to hate Skiles, but he clearly knows what he’s doing. Everyone from here to Chicago was saying, “Hey, just wait ‘til Gilbert Arenas starts doing something.” I know I was saying that. Well, tonight, Gil played pretty well, yet the Bulls eliminated a lot of the Wizards’ other options. Sure, the crowd probably helped and certainly the refs were nice to the Bulls (maybe that’s me listening to Buckhantz too much), but Skiles made some nice adjustments after the first quarter and seems to know how to outmaneuver Eddie Jordan, who’s a pretty good coach himself.

Once again, go Bulls!

(Photo credit: NBA.com)

I was amazed to hear Len Kasper and Bob Brenley (well, more Len than Bob) talking about sabermetric basics on the air last night. The following conversation took place during the bottom of the third and top of the fourth innings:

(Bottom of the third, Cubs batting. Score: Reds 5, Cubs 1. Corey Patterson batting.)

Bob Brenley: The Cubs have 21 outs to play with. I believe they’ll be able to find a way to score four or five runs in the next 21 outs.

Len Kasper: That’s a good way to put it. […] I think if you’re teaching someone the game of baseball, just the general idea of it, I think a good place to start is, you know, what’s the most valuable commodity for an offense? And that’s 27 outs. The one thing you can count on is that you have to get 27 outs, so preserving those outs is very, very important. I think the new school of sabermetrics, you know, a lot of the discussion is about when do you give up outs? In discussing the sacrifice bunt, and that sort of thing […] (Derrek Lee now batting) you know, it makes for an interesting debate. That’s why guys like Derrek Lee – power, and they walk, and when you walk, you’re not making an out, so he has extra value as a power hitter.

BB: I think a lot of managers are a lot more selective as to when they give up those outs.

LK: Sure.

BB: There used to be automatic situations – you get the leadoff runner on in a tie ballgame, the next batter’s gonna bunt him up. That used to be an automatic. But now, if Derrek Lee is the second batter up after the first batter reaches in a tie game, you’re not going to ask him to put down a sacrifice bunt; that just doesn’t make sense. It depends on your personnel. It’s a very subjective thing.

(Later, in the top of the 4th:)

LK: Just want to carry that discussion a little further about preserving outs. Just an example from tonight’s game. I’m not saying it was necessarily a bad move that Adam Dunn tried to steal (In the top of the 2nd, with two outs, Joe Randa on third and Austin Kearns batting, Adam Dunn tried to steal second base, but was caught to end the inning), but it’s kind of a risk versus the reward when you look at that second inning for the Reds. They had Zambrano on the ropes; had already scored four runs. And I guess it comes down to a base versus an out, and when the line was moving the way it was, kind of felt like the Cubs got a break when Dunn did run. […]

BB: Well, I agree with you about the Dunn stolen base. […] And by Dunn running in that particular situation, apparently he thought he had a good enough jump to steal a base, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone, but uh, the caught stealing at second possibly eliminated what could have been an even bigger inning for the Reds.

LK: In a way, that play is on par with trying to steal third with two outs in a normal inning – you’d better make sure you get there on a night like this.
——-

I believe this is the first time I have heard broadcasters talking about sabermetrics during a game and actually considering it as another valid way to view the game. The only other times I have heard broadcasters talk about sabermetrics, or concepts related to sabermetrics on the air (notably on White Sox broadcasts and Sunday Night Baseball with Jon Miller and Joe Morgan), it has been immediately dismissed as statistical nonsense since “the A’s haven’t won anything.” I know that most broadcasters aren’t educated in this sort of thing, so I don’t expect most of them to talk about it. But Kasper clearly is, and it’s refreshing to hear sabermetrics discussed (at least a little bit) on the air as an acceptable way to look at baseball. Of course, even on this broadcast, Kasper wouldn’t go so far as to say that he thinks sabermetrics are a good idea (he said, “it makes for an interesting debate”). You can’t say that sabermetrics are a good idea on the air, because that might ruffle some of the hypersensitve feathers in the Cubs’ dugout or front office. It’s sad to me that baseball is so protective and conservative that any new ideas are immediately poo-pooed, especially if it means threatening The Way It Used To Be.

I don’t love Kasper and Brenley as the new Cubs broadcasters. Kasper leaves something to be desired as a play-by-play announcer, especially on the home run call, and Brenley is so boring that he could have made Harry Caray look bad. But if Kasper keeps dropping sabermetric references, he might start to grow on me.

Mark Prior struck out 10 in 6 innings in a Cubs victory, Chad Fox left early due to an arm injury. This is the third straight game the Cubs have won that has been overshadowed by a player leaving the game early due to injury:
4/20 @ Cardinals – W, 3-1; Nomar Garciaparra tears groin
4/21 @ Cardinals – L, 4-0
4/23 v. Pirates – L, 4-3
4/24 v. Pirates – W, 5-2; Kerry Wood leaves game after 5 innings with tendonitis in shoulder
4/25 v. Reds – W, 10-6; Chad Fox leaves game with elbow injury

Finally, Dusty Baker has found a winning formula: just make sure someone gets hurt. Did anybody see Fox’s injury? It was kind of frightening: He made a pitch, grimaced, and his then right arm just lay limp at his side. Prediction: that was the last pitch Chad Fox throws this season.

It didn’t take Fox long to land on the 15-day DL. Will Ohman has been recalled to replace him.

In more Cubs injury news, Nomar has elected to get surgery, and says that he “will be back by the end of the season.” Good, just in time to play in some of the many meaningless games the Cubs will be playing in September this year and get injured again. The Cubs believe Kerry Wood will make his next start. He is “feeling pretty good,” according to the world’s foremost expert on Kerry Wood’s health, Dusty Baker.

On the other side of town, The Quote Machine was in full force this week as he labeled Juan Uribe “the best shortstop to ever play the game.” Hey, maybe the Ozzeroo is right. The Sox can’t lose, even in Oakland, a place where (up until this year) they seemed to lose every game they played.

Outside of Chicago, Tim Wakefield signed a very unique contract extension with the Boston Red Sox. The extension signs him through 2006, after which the Red Sox will have an annual option to pick up Wakefield’s at $4 million per year. If the Red Sox at any point decide to decline Wakefield’s option, he would become a free agent. I think this is a good deal for the Red Sox. Yes, Wakefield is 38 years old, but he’s a knuckleballer, which means he exerts virtually no strain on his arm when he throws. Other knuckleballers have pitched well into their 40’s – Phil Niekro retired at 48, Charlie Hough retired at 46, Joe Niekro at 42. What’s more, Wakefield has been very effective. His ERA+ (ERA compared to league average, adjusted for ballpark factors) has been league average or better for 9 out of the last 10 years. In other Red Sox news, David Wells has been placed on the 15 day DL with a sprained foot. I’d make a joke here, but come on. 250-pound David Wells with a sprained foot? That’s just too easy.

The Twins have been trying to get a new ballpark for a decade, which was stalled by the team really stinking in the late 90’s and the possibility of contraction in the early oughts. Now it looks like it might finally happen. I can’t help but think of how ironic it is that Twins owner Carl Pohlad wanted the Twins to be contracted back in 2001 so that he could be bought out by MLB for a tidy profit. Since then, all the Twins have done is won three straight division titles. But it hasn’t been thanks to Pohlad’s generosity.

Like I’ve mentioned, it’s pretty cool that the Bulls are playing the Wizards in the first round of the playoffs, because I live here in the D.C. area, so I’m familiar with the team. Plus, it gives me opportunity to watch the game’s broadcast from the Wizards announcers, Steve Buckhantz and Phil Chenier, which was entertaining. Buck, uh, complains a little about the refs. While Marv, Flip and Kerr called Nocioni dirty once, Buck couldn’t stop talking about it.

Which brings me to a column by Mike Wise in the Washington Post. While not as good as the best columnist in America (man, I hope the Bulls play the Heat, so Le Batard can profile the Bulls in a column), Wise is a guy I respect a lot. I like him personally (he’s always nice to the littles), but I think he really knows his basketball. His column is good, in my opinion, because he’s not simply taking the Wizards’ side, which is what I’d expect from a Washington columnist.

Wise makes several points that make sense and raise questions:

“Is Nocioni tough and physical or dirty and flagrant? Depends on who he is playing for and who is calling the game and who his coach is.”

“Being this is the maiden playoff series for many Wizards, including Arenas, they should know something about the postseason Skiles always has: If you’re not holding and grabbing, you’re not trying and you’re probably not advancing.”

He’s right. If the Bulls play dirty, it’s mainly because that’s the only way they can play. The Bulls clearly don’t have the scorers to win (especially without Baby Shaq and Luol Deng), so Skiles has them clutching and grabbing.

Finally, Michael Lee has a nice fluffy profile on The Executioner in the Post, as well. Not the greatest thing ever, but a nice little piece on an excellent player.

Seven wins.

The Sox have racked up seven wins in seven days (eight wins in eight days, actually) this past week. No Sox starting pitcher gave up more than three runs during this streak and the Sox have scored five runs three times out of seven and 37 in the past seve (about 5.25 a game).

Clearly, the pitching is doing as well as it did the first week of the season and the offense is scoring runs (sort of). So… Have the Sox turned it around?

No.

The Sox have a team OBP of .300 and a BA of .258. Once again, an ISO OBP of .042, who is pretty abysmal. The team is rounding out the back of the AL in walks, drawing only 39 through 20 games (of course, if they keep this pace, this is would beat the lowest walk total ever, which is not cool), which averages out to 316 walks for the year.

I think the Sox pitching staff isn’t as bad as everyone thought it to be and probably not as good as it is now. But, I still think the Sox aren’t going to keep winning games like this. There’s no way. As Joe Sheehan said in a recent Baseball Prospectus chat:

“That’s a team full of hackers, guys whose OBPs won’t be more than 30 or 40 points above their BAs. A healthy Frank Thomas would make a difference, but could also create playing-time problems. This is basically the ‘03 Royals all over again, and not a start to be taken seriously. “

I forgot about the ‘03 Royals, but that’s an apt comparison. Each is suprising, each is built on a bad foundation (high BAs and one-run wins). It’s really unlikely that any team can keep winning at this pace, but stranger things have happened, I guess.

In other news, Paul Konerko is still leading the league in home runs, Joe Crede is leading the Sox in OBP, and the ChiPod is second in the league in steals. Welcome to Bizarro World.

Also, Jon Garland has either figured his stuff out or is just white hot. With a 1.80 ERA, a 4-0 record, 0.87 WHIP, 11/5 K/BB ratio and a .200 BA against, Garland has pitched very well this season. He has pitched six, seven, eight and nine innnings in his first four games. At this pace, he’ll pull a Mark Mulder on us next start.

Finally, there was some speculation that The Future was coming soon for the Sox, but it looks like that may not happen. While TippyPitch’s injury took him out of the game Saturday, the team is saying he’ll pitch Friday. I’d say I want The Future to get promoted, but TippyPitch has actually pitched well, so why mess with it?

It was a good day for Chicago sports, as Ben “The Executioner” Gordon led the Bulls to their first playoff win in seven years, the Cubs won and the White Sox won.

The White Sox are the hottest team in baseball. They have the best record in all of baseball, and they have won 7 in a row thanks to solid starting pitching and timely hitting. Ozzie Guillen’s Kangaroo Court still fines a player $1,000 for drawing a walk.

LaTroy Hawkins’ strikeout rate seems to know when it’s the 9th inning, so Dusty Baker has decided to go with a bullpen “by situation” for now, because, as we all know, bullpens “by committee” don’t work. Meanwhile, Cubs management continues search for bullpen talent based on accuracy of shineball, balance of body’s Four Humors, size of handlebar mustache.

And because nothing good can happen to the Cubs without somebody getting injured, Kerry Wood left yesterday’s game after 5 innings after his shoulder felt “a little cranky.” The best part about this was that Dusty Baker, being the brilliant tactician that he is, let Kerry Wood lead off the bottom of the 5th inning... while Glendon Rusch was warming up to come into the game. I wonder, did it ever occur to Dusty that Wood’s injury might get worse by batting?

No, Dusty clearly left Wood in because he was batting .667 (4-for-6) at that point in time. That just goes to show you, Dusty always has his head in the game, playing the percentages. With another manager, I might feel uncomfortable with this bullpen by committee thing.

Outside of Chicago, Jose and Ozzie Canseco have to pay $700,000 in damages for beating up two men in Miami Beach in 2001. Ozzie is ecstatic about his name being in the news again.

A disgruntled ex-business partner claims that Lenny Dykstra took steroids and HGH while he played, and also bet on baseball. Dykstra’s nickname was “Nails,” as in “tough as.” For those of you that remember seeing him play, you probably remember how hypercompetitive this guy was. Knowing that he was on steroids and HGH puts everything in a new light—Dykstra wasn’t a lunatic, he just had more testosterone coarsing through his system than a hundred 16 year-old boys!

Jaret Wright has torn scar tissue in his shoulder and will mis 4-6 weeks. Upset Yankees fans cry out: “Whatever, just go and get that Santana guy from Minnesota.”

The Rays and the Red Sox had MLB’s first meet-in-the-middle-of-the-field-and-shove match of the year. Nobody was injured in the “brawl,” but the Devil Rays gained +17 experience points, and the Red Sox gained +38 toughness points.

Well, it’s pretty cool to have the Bulls win a playoff game for the first time since ‘98. Who would’ve thought this was going to happen? I watched from the Gianfortune Mansion just outside Washington, D.C. with my dog, my Jordan jersey and some matzoh. I meant to write a running diary, but it didn’t really happen… So, let’s just do this in a notes style.
—Marv and Steve Kerr are joined by… Flip Saunders? Flip looks barely taller than Marv, which is absolutely bizarre. Did Flip ever play in the NBA? After looking it up, I guess Flip never did play in the league. Makes sense, as there aren’t a lot of guys playing in the league who’d have trouble posting Marv up.—Speaking of Marv, is there a better announcer for the NBA? I know the Disney empire/Four-Letter Network has Al Michaels, but hearing Marv say “...And the foul!” is the NBA to me.—It only took three minutes for the first “Ben Jordan” reference to be dropped. Of course, this is yet another in a series of stupid nicknames permeating the sports world. “Hey, this kid plays in Chicago, and ‘Gordon’ kina sounds like ‘Jordan,’ therefore, let’s call him ‘Ben Jordan.’” I guess it’s better than B-Gore, but I’m going to continue calling him “The Executioner.”
Four minutes later, of course, there was the first mention of the six banners hanging in the rafters.—The announcers spent a bit on the “Andres Nocioni is a dirty player” tangent. After watching the game, I have to say I agree. He’s a bizarre mixture of Reggie Miller (flopper) and Bruce Bowen (dirty defender).—Which brings us to an interesting question: Is Nocioni the oddest player in the league? He clearly plays out of control offensively (takes stupid shots, dribbles too much, falls in love with his threes, etc.), but he still defends like a madman. I’m sure there are guys like this—like I mentioned, Bruce Bowen is kinda similar—yet I’ve never heard of a Euro like that. Everyone talks about Euros playing fundamental team basketball and being soft, as far as one-on-one defense goes. Nocioni is the exact opposite. He’s truely an odd duck. He had a great game, but he plays way out of control. Twenty-three points and 18 rebounds is nothing to sneeze at, but still…—Early in the year, Damon Stoudamire said “Chicago runs the best system I’ve seen all year”. If this playoff game is any indication, Damon must’ve been pretty high. I doubt Skiles has a lot of sets that revovle around Kirk Hinrich dribbling in circles, Ben Gordon standing around, or Tyson Chandler at all.—I like Chandler’s defense, but every time he gets the ball on offense, he might as well just tell the guy what he’s doing. He got the ball down in the low post in the first quarter, and everyone in the gym knew what he was going to do. He’s got no moves whatsoever.—At one point in the broadcast, they showed the graphic of the 2001 draft. With four players from that draft, it was inevitable.—One of the weird things about that draft is the utter youth of three of the first eight picks. Four of the first eight were high schoolers and the Bulls grabbed two (Chandler and Baby Shaq). It’s funny, people here hate Kwame Brown for the struggles he’s had since being drafted, but he’s still a baby. All three of the guys on these two teams (Baby Shaq, Chandler and Kwame) are still only 21. That’s the same age as Sean May, the big fat forward from UNC that everyone in the world is in love with right now. I mean, come on. Who’d you rather have?—Let me reiterate: I am very unhappy with the new Benny the Bull. It was much better when Benny had a giant, bulbous ass. Now, he’s just a guy with a giant head. He might as well be Mr. Met.—The Executioner was, well, amazing tonight. Clearly, he was ready going in, but any rookie is hard to predict. 30 points is amazing and he had a couple of nice dunks. If the Bulls win this series, I expect a Dwyane Wade circa ‘04 performance from The Executioner.—Despite the win, I still believe the Bulls will lose the series to the Wizards. I hate to be a naysayer, but Gilbert Arenas only had nine points tonight. There is no way he’ll be held to double digits again. The Wizards did not play well, the Bulls did. I don’t expect this to happen three more times. But, if it does, awesome.

Go Bulls!

(Photo credit: NBA.com)